


Now and Forever

by porkcutletballs



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Accidents, Alternate Universe, Hurt Hinata Shouyou, Kageyama is precious, Kageyama singing twinkle twinkle little star, M/M, Plot Twists, Tsukishima is actually a caring boyfriend, devil contract, devil! kageyama, gorgeous kags, lololol I should stop how do I tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-09-23 10:24:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9651785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/porkcutletballs/pseuds/porkcutletballs
Summary: “You are my star and I’m your angel. And from now on, I promise… I’ll protect you whenever, wherever… I’ll protect you forever…”





	1. Prologue: The 'Whats', 'Whys' and 'Hows'.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi~! It's my first time posting here!  
> I've been wanting to post a KageHina fic for ages and I finally found the courage to do so.  
> To be honest, I've had this fic for so long lol and I want to see KageHina in it.  
> This chapter is like a prologue kind of thing but it actually happened around the middle of the story so the next chapter is actually the start lololol  
> It's short 'cause the purpose of this one is just to give the gist of the story so expect the succeeding chapters to be long~  
> I hope you enjoy it. :)  
> And yeah, I'm also the 'matsunichii' from livejournal haha

\---------------------------------------------------------***-----------------------------------------------------------------  
“I know that the whole point— the only point— is to find the things that matter,  
and hold on to them, and fight for them, and refuse to let them go.”  
—Lauren Oliver, Delirium  
\---------------------------------------------------------***-----------------------------------------------------------------

_I’ve always been surrounded by darkness._

_By that feeling of immense fear, waiting for its time to completely engulf me.  
By that feeling of destruction, eager to ruin everything._

_I’ve always been surrounded by death…_

_The Shadow._

_This is what I called **him** before._

_Before I entered this game._

_Before I made this promise._

_Before I agreed to this contract._

_This contract with him._

_If the shadows of the night had gathered in one place, if the coldness had begun to seep in your skin and made you shiver gravely, if the darkness had dominated everything, if all you can feel is the fear together with this strange calmness that only happens when you know that a severe storm is coming your way, **they** are definitely there._

_In my case, **he’s** always there._

_Always._

_\------------------------------------------------------------------***----------------------------------------------------_

_“Kageyama…?” I whispered softly while sitting uneasily, like a misplaced puzzle piece. I’m situated at my usual spot, the bed, a velvety mattress in the middle of this vast room. It has been a few days since he brought me here and I’m still not used to the place._

_It didn’t even startle me when he just simply materialized beside me, smiling blissfully and quickly caressing my cheeks, “Yes, my love?”_

_I leaned on his hand and closed my eyes. I love how soft his hands felt, as if it was something delicate and gentle. Something that brings… peace and life…_

_I smiled at how ironic that statement is._

_“Nothing… I’m just…” I started and sighed seeing that I can’t even explain what I’m feeling right now .I don’t even know what I’m feeling right now. I don’t even know why I called for him. Maybe I just need some company… Or maybe, just maybe, I actually missed him._

_He shook his head while grinning in satisfaction, as if he can actually read my mind. How...? That’s absurd. He then wrapped his other arm around my waist and made me lean on his chest instead. If someone did that to me, I swear I would have already punched them but I don’t know why I always feel comfortable with every physical contact we have. I didn’t even complain and positioned myself comfortably inside his arms instead. This is crazy… I AM crazy… I barely know this guy so what am I doing…? Why am I...?_

_He squeezed my arms softly, a gesture to keep my worries away, as if he just read my mind again. He started rocking me back and forth slowly; while playing with my fingers and humming the familiar tune that I’ve always heard before._

_“Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are…”_

_He then smiled contentedly after singing and placed his cheeks above my head, nuzzling me with extreme tenderness. He exhaled tiredly and tightened his wrapped arms around me._

_“Why are you always singing that song to me?” I asked curiously after a moment of silence._

_He looked at me in amusement again as if not believing I asked that question in the first place. Instead of answering, he just laid the both of us on the bed, facing each other. Now that I can actually see his face clearly, the wornness in his eyes is very evident as if he hasn’t slept for days. His jet-black hair is sticking in all places but the beautiful blue orbs in his face are still reflecting genuine happiness while looking at me._

_Why…?_

_He smiled again as he started caressing my hair and then letting his fingers roam around my face, outlining it with such delicateness that I felt like a pampered princess._

_“You’re really my sweetest downfall.”_

_I quickly opened my eyes and looked at him as soon as he spoke those words genuinely. I felt the pain, his pain, traveling in all the corners of this empty room and then straight to my confused heart._

_He’s right… I really am._

_“I’m really, really, sorry, Kage---“_

_He quickly laid a single finger on top of my lips, silencing me. He shook his head and smiled, “I told you a lot of times, don’t ever say that. Never apologize to me.”_

_“But…”_

_“It’s my fault, Hinata. Not yours.”_

_I bit my lips as guilt started to spread out all over my whole being again. It’s not his fault. It’s not his fault that he fell in love with the wrong person. With the wrong… being._

_“But…” I whispered regretfully, “…I tried to kill you.”_

_He closed his eyes as soon as those words escaped my lips and seeing the expression that he’s making right now, I’m starting to regret that I said it to him again. It’s just that… It’s weighing down on me… He doesn’t deserve what I did._

_Why is it me, Kageyama? Why…?_

_He opened his eyes after a while and began to sit. I just followed his every movement and noticed how much pain he is keeping inside. I want to know what’s in there. I know I AM in there but why…?_

_He suddenly stood up and I tried my best not to embrace him, to comfort him, to let him know that he’s not alone. Not anymore…_

_He faced his back towards me as if trying to hide whatever emotion is playing on his face again. He’s always trying to hide his vulnerabilities to me. It’s as if he’s afraid that if he showed that he’s weak, he cannot protect me anymore and I will cast him away._

_And losing me definitely scares him._

_“Well…” He shook his head and I can hear a sad laugh coming out from his mouth, “Like what you’ve said to me before… Who would really be stupid enough to love a devil?_

_He faced me and gave me the saddest smile that I’ve seen, “…No one, right?”_

_And he disappeared once again, leaving me alone in this vast and empty room._

_I bit my lips as the silence and this strong and unknown emotion engulf me once again. I felt a tear threatening to fall on the corner of my eye._

_Kageyama… Maybe…_

_Maybe I will._


	2. The Moon and The Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I like that you’re small. It makes hugging you easy. I like hugging you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! :)  
> To all the people that left kudos and those who read that short prologue, thank you so much!  
> I didn't really expect it since it's my first time here and that prologue doesn't even tell much of what this story is about lol
> 
> To be honest, this chapter is still not relaying much of the main story but it's getting there. :)  
> It's not as cheesy as the first one so bear with it. ;A;  
> I'll update whenever I can!

“Happy birthday to you!   
Happy birthday to you!   
Happy birthday, dear Hinata~!   
Happy Birthday to you!”

 

I smiled happily at everyone, ecstatic with their surprise. I blew the candles on my cake with enthusiasm as I stare at their goofy faces. This day was really awesome! I can’t believe that they fooled me just like that. Well, I think it’s not really that hard because people often tell me that I’m quite gullible but that just makes surprises more amazing.

 

These actors actually made me believe that they don’t know that it’s my birthday today. I mean, how can they not remember it when I keep giving hints the whole week? I even kept on reminding them earlier that today is June 21 and I kept on sending messages about a special occasion today. But they just kept on ignoring me! No one even replied! And that made me sulk for the whole day.

 

So this surprise party was really something to remember. Everyone cheered after I finished blowing the candles. They started slicing the very big cake on the table, a creamy vanilla one, my favorite. Seeing how they remembered my favorite cake made me forget the fact that they actually forgot my birthday.

 

Looking at my apartment right now, I guess they overdid the decorations. I feel like a teenage girl having a grand birthday party with all the balloons and ribbons everywhere. I’m pretty sure that it will be hard to clean the mess afterwards. I don’t even need to guess how they got the key of my apartment. I only give the spare key to a single person-- my boyfriend. And guess what, that horrible, HORRIBLE person is now walking towards me while smirking.

 

“How dare you?” I laughed while hitting his arms lightly. “You told me you’re out of town today! And when I asked you if you remember what day is it today, you told me ‘Are you dumb? Of course, it’s Saturday’. Really? How dare you? ”

 

He shrugged and started pinching my cheeks, I don’t know why but he likes doing that. He’s still giving me that usual smirk of his.

 

“Hey!” I complained and rubbed my abused cheek and he just snorted.

 

“Such a baby.”

 

“I’m not!”

 

“Chibi.”

 

“Hey! Not because you’re a giant it means that you can degrade my height. I’ve grown a lot these past few years!”

 

He raised his eyebrow as if challenging me and started reducing our distance. I actually pouted when we’re just inches away from each other. Okay, fine. I’m small. But hey! Everyone is small when beside him.

 

Without further ado, he encapsulated me inside his arms and I felt myself heat up instantly.

 

“I like that you’re small. It makes hugging you easy. I like hugging you.”

 

My eyes widened because GOD, he only says sweet things TWICE a year! I raised my head and look at him only to see that he’s also blushing while covering his face embarrassedly.

 

“Hey, you two, stop bickering and being adorably cute at the same time.” Daichi-san, our senpai and volleyball captain from high school, said from the sofa while having his arms around Sugawara-san, another senpai of ours. It’s funny because almost everyone in our team ended up with each other. I feel like we came straight from a BL sport anime. I won’t even be surprised if that’s the case, I just wish that I’m the protagonist. I’m gonna be like a Little Giant!

 

Our friends are watching some recorded volleyball match on my TV. Not that I’m complaining, we’re already adults but you can’t really just leave volleyball, you know? 

 

“Hey Hinata~ I can’t believe your boyfriend has the capability to be sweet by planning this birthday party and calling all of us here. That’s a lot of work, you know? He even went to Tokyo yesterday to ask if Kenma is free. Too bad he’s sick today.”

 

I look at Ennoshita-san and back to my boyfriend, “Wait… Seriously? Don’t tell me it was really you who planned all of this?”

 

He rolled his eyes as if offended that I underestimated his capability of being a proper boyfriend. But no one can blame me. All we do is just annoy each other most of the time. We’re nowhere near the category of “proper boyfriends”.

 

“Well, the boyfriend needs to do his job well.” He sighed and held my cheek softly that I instantly found myself leaning to his touch, “It’s your 24th birthday so everything should be special. And of course the boyfriend must get all the credit.” He answered smugly and I laughed even more.

 

“Oh… So the boyfriend will also clean all this mess afterwards?” I teased.

 

“No way.”

 

“Ouch. So the boyfriend will just leave poor Shouyou in cleaning the mess alone?”

 

He hit my head with his own head softly and whispered, “No, of course not. The boyfriend and sweet, little Shouyou will go somewhere Shouyou really likes after the party and they will leave the friends to clean all this mess.”

 

“HEY TSUKISHIMA! WE HEARD THAT!” Noya and Tanaka-san, my two most awesome senpai, shouted synchronically while pointing their forks at Tsukishima. ”WE ARE STILL ANGRY AT YOU BECAUSE KIYOKO-SAN ISN’T HERE! DON’T TREAT US LIKE A YOUR OWN PERSONAL CLEANERS!!”

 

Tsukishima clicked his tongue in annoyance, “I already told you that Shimizu-san is busy tonight but she can meet us tomorrow if we want to.”

 

“OF COURSE WE WANT TO!!!” They both screamed and started doing their usual thing--- making inhumane noises. 

 

I giggled and raised my eyebrows at my him, “So… who’ll clean my apartment?”

 

Tsukkishima raised both of his hands in defeat, “FINE! FINE! I will! But I’ll do that after we go to the place you love.”

 

“What place?” I brightened up and jumped excitedly.

 

He grinned knowingly and placed a kiss delicately on my forehead.

 

“The stars~” 

 

I gave him the best smile that I have and started joining my senpai in their outburst.

 

God… My boyfriend’s the best.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------***------------------------------------------------------------

 

Okay, everything was going smoothly.

 

Until we got here.

 

I was following Tsukishima ecstatically, while imagining the places that could possibly be the special spot for this surprise. However, it didn’t prepare me to the horror that washed over me when we arrived. I just widened my eyes in terror when I found myself at the door of the rooftop of some old building. When Tsukishima said that he’ll bring me to the stars, I seriously thought that he got tickets to the planetarium. 

 

Who would have thought that he’ll bring me to this old, dilapidated building? It looks like we’re gonna go in a ghost hunting quest instead of stargazing. AND I FREAKING HATE GHOSTS! I don’t wanna make him sad by saying that I hate this place so I just decided to stay close to him, gripping the end of his shirt tightly as we ascend the never-ending stairs of this building earlier. 

 

I was only taken back to reality when I suddenly heard his voice telling me to follow him and when I looked at the door in front of me; I quickly saw a big warning sign. However, my eyes widened more when he just removed it away from our path and just opened the door nonchalantly. He looked at me confusedly when I stayed rooted at my spot, on the other side of the door.

 

He raised his eyebrows at me, “What’s wrong?”

 

“Err… Didn’t you see the big: “DANGEROUS! DO NOT ENTER” sign?” I asked cautiously at him.

 

“Oh come on. It’s nothing. Don’t be a killjoy, Hinata.” He said impatiently at me. I don’t like the tone of his voice because this tone means that he’s on the verge of starting a fight with me. And that kinda sucks. It’s still my birthday, after all.

 

I breathed deeply and when I opened my eyes I froze. I don’t know if it’s just my imagination but I swear, I saw a faint shadow of a person beside him for a second and when I blinked, it’s gone.

 

No… This can’t be… If the shadow is here… Then…

 

Then something tragic will definitely happen.

 

“Let’s go home.” I said fearfully and turn back to go down the stairs again. I rather start a fight than risk getting him in danger. I don’t want those things to happen in front of me again.

 

I suddenly felt a hand stopping me and when I turned around, Tsukishima is looking at me angrily.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong with you?!” He asked in frustration, ”This is the best place for stargazing, okay? And it’s not even THAT dangerous; we’re not stupid to let ourselves be in danger. I AM not stupid to put you in danger. It may be an old building but I’ll surely protect you… You trust me, right?”

 

“But…” I started “I’m… I’m sca---“

 

I can’t finish my sentence when Tsukishima’s gaze suddenly softens when he saw my expression. After a moment of silence, he gave me this sad smile. 

 

“You don’t?” He asked softly while looking at me, the pain evident in his voice. It’s rare to see him display this type of emotion and I feel like someone just punched me.

 

A lot of emotions started running through me. Memories that I’ve kept in the back of my mind started resurfacing again and I tried to keep them at bay. He doesn’t deserve this. I’m sure he put a lot of effort in this surprise. I should not let him down.

 

“I… I trust you.”

 

I guess… he’s right? We should just be careful… And I’m with him… So… I should feel protected, right?

 

But who am I fooling… I don’t feel protected…

 

Even when he is always with me… 

 

“But let’s be quick…” I added wearily, “I’m already tired from the party… I wanna sleep right away.”

 

He finally smiled and ruffled my hair, “Don’t make excuses. You’re one of the rarest star-nerds that I know so you shouldn’t miss this. And this is the highlight of my birthday gift to you. I swear that you’ll love me more because of this.”

 

I just smiled hesitantly and nodded while he held my hand as we both entered the rooftop.

 

I gasped and rounded my gaze as soon as I stepped outside. I squeezed his hand tightly as I jumped in excitement. We were surrounded by a sea of vibrant lights and I can’t help but think that this scene came right out of a picture book.

 

The stars! They are so visible here!!! It’s like… It’s like I could reach them if I just held out my hand! I didn’t even notice how battered this place is. I didn’t even care if it looks so abandoned already. How?! How did he find this place?!

 

I ran towards the corner and hold unto the railings as I held my hands up and extended it as I try to reach for the stars.

 

“Hey, careful.” He scolded as he walked towards me, chuckling at my childish behavior. “Don’t move too much, this place is missing its maintenance if you’d noticed. I know I promised that I’ll protect you but that doesn’t give you the right to be stupid. So please just be careful.” 

 

“But the stars, Tsukishima!!! THE STARS ARE SO BEAUTIFUL HERE!!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!” I said while smiling widely at him.

 

“I told you. You shouldn’t miss this.” He exclaimed and smiled proudly, “I worked hard to find the perfect place for stargazing. We’ve been to the planetarium a million times already and I guess a natural environment is much better, right? I kept on searching for the perfect place for a whole month, you know? That’s how special you are to me.”

 

I looked at him with eyes full of love and admiration. How many buildings did he check for this surprise? I can’t believe he put this much effort for my birthday.

 

He suddenly grinned when he noticed me staring so much at him, “I know, I know… I can almost hear your voice in my head. You’re my star and I’ll always be your moon. I’m the best boyfriend ever. No need to thank me.”

 

I shook my head and laughed, “Don’t be so full of yourself!” I exclaimed and embraced him afterwards, “But seriously! I love you! I love you! I love you!!!”

 

“Whoa! Gross! Stop! Too much love will kill me!” He said jokingly, pretending to be disgusted. He removed my arms around him and leaned on the railings behind him afterwards.

 

And then… 

 

Everything… 

 

Just went… 

 

Into… slow motion…

 

I saw how everything goes from a calm pacing into a disturbing pandemonium.

 

It was the single creak of the railings first… and was followed by a strange and louder sound… and then… the loudest… I guess it must be a normal sound for a normal situation but during that time, all my senses just increased to its maximum that I really saw, heard and felt everything.

 

The railings collapsed.

 

And I saw how Tsukishima’s blissful face slowly turned into horror as he realized that he’s…

 

He’s about to die…

 

I saw the extreme horror in his face as he helplessly reached out his hand for the mere hope of his survival. I saw how afraid he is when his feet were already at the edge and he was on the verge of falling from this 30-storey building. I saw how he looked at me and realized that I was about to hold my hand out to him for the mere hope that I could still rescue him. I saw how we both came to the realization that at that time, there was already no hope and there were only two possible endings: I don’t reach out for him and he dies alone or I reach out to hold his hand and we both die.

 

But he didn’t even let me choose.

 

He quickly retracted his hand back and smiled at me while whispering softly the last words that I’ll ever hear from him.

 

“This is not your fault.”

 

And then… he disappeared.

 

He fell down…

 

He died…

 

All of these happening in slow motion.  
All of these happening on my 24th birthday.

 

And at that time… I didn’t even think… I stood up, looked for the stars for the last time and smiled.

 

And then I jumped.

 

And everything…

 

Just… 

 

Went…

 

Black….


	3. The Contract

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "HOW. THE. FUCK. DID. HE. GET. INSIDE. IS. HE. A GHOST. OHMYGOD.I. HATE. GHOST. WHAT. HAVE. I. DONE. HE’S. GONNA. KILL. ME. OH.MY.GOD.TSUKISHIMA.WHERE.ARE.YOU.WHATTHEFUCKISWRONGWITHTHISGHOST. I’MAGOODKIDISWEAR.OHMYGOD. DID.I.JUST.HUGGED.A.GHOST?!OHMYGOD. SPAREME."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay~ <3  
> Sorry if I'm not able to update soon. Univ is killing me ;A;  
> Anyway, this story was actually supposed to have only 4 chapters but I kept on cutting it to shorter ones lol.  
> I'm really sorry for the short chapters~ (but that means more chapters yay)  
> And at least Hinata's blueberry muffin is already here~ <3   
> (and sorry I really don't know what to put in the summary lol)

To be honest, I’m not the chirpy, bubbly kid that everyone sees me to be.

It’s just one of my façades to keep myself from breaking apart.

I’m not a sun as what they always call me.

I’m not this majestic being that radiates all throughout and affects everyone beautifully, someone that will shine even in the darkest corners of the world. 

I’m not.

Maybe once upon a time, I am.

But now, I’m not.

Tsukishima is the only one who keeps me from breaking apart.

To be honest, I can’t live without him.

Yeah.

I really can’t.

Once upon a time, Hinata Shoyou was a kid who was raised from a very perfect family. He loved the stars, the sky, the animals, the people and basically, everyone and everything around him and in turn, all of them loved him back. It’s not even difficult to love someone as bright and dazzling as him. He was everyone’s support, someone who can brighten up everything even in the days of utmost misery. He has this viral effect wherein his smiles almost seem like a disease that you’ll definitely get once he’s around you. His parents and his little sister loved him like no other. His friends adored him so much and he can’t be any happier than that.

His life is so perfect.

As perfect as the stars shining silently in the night sky.

It’s so perfect that when the misfortunes came. No one was prepared.

I was not prepared.

When I was 16, I was involved in a major accident. No one knows what happened and I can’t even remember a single thing. All I know is that I was on my way to the mountains to watch the most awaited meteor shower that year. My parents blame their selves for allowing me to go alone even do it was so obvious that going there in a bad weather is already so dangerous. But I don’t really remember what happened. They told me that my car slipped from the cliff in a sharp turn up in the mountain. It crashed so hard that it actually exploded but miraculously, I survived. No one can even explain what happened. I don’t even have a single bruise in me.

Then the dreadful crying came next.

No one can even explain why I kept crying for the whole week.

I don’t even know why.

It just seems that every second that pass after that accident, my heart is starting to wilt like a dead flower. It always seems like I need something but I don’t know what it is.

So crying is the only refuge that I had.

And maybe it’s one of the traumas of the accident. I’ve also become more passionate about my obsession with the stars. I always believe that in my past life, I was a star… I want to be a star… More than anything else… It was as if, a star will tell me everything that I need to know… Like… If a star took something from me, it’s just natural that it gives me back the thing that I lost.

Then suddenly, I found myself wanting company always. I was always searching for someone who will stay with me forever, someone who will protect me from everything. 

I was never a dependent person but after that accident, something was triggered inside me that I underwent a major personality change.

People still see me as the old me, the sunny Hinata, but frankly, I just tried my best to look as if I’m still that person that they used to know.

Someone that will always smile in front of people but at the same time, someone that will curl in his bed at night, crying while feeling this unknown emotion deep in his heart.

Then Tsukishima came.

I don’t know why but the moment that I saw his silhouette and the moment he spoke annoying words toward me… I feel that I found what I’m missing. It’s weird but… I was instantly attracted to him and even though we hated each other at first… I can’t help the fact that I was slowly falling for him.

He’s filling this gap in my heart.

He knows exactly when I’m faking my smiles and he understands me more than anyone. 

Ever since the accident, everyone is always so pretentious towards me. They know that something is wrong with my always puffy eyes accompanied with that big fake smile. But everyone just avoided that fact and no one even tried to ask me what’s wrong. I’m tired of hearing them saying that I can recover quickly since I’m Hinata, the ‘sunny’ Hinata. Then they started treating me as if I’m a fragile little thing.

Tsukishima is actually the first who told me that I’m such a loser for always crying when no one is around. 

He told me that there’s nothing embarrassing if I show everyone that I’m weak, although of course, I still suck for being weak.

I really don’t get it but it was comfortable staying with him and we don’t know when it happened but we stayed together even after high school and college.

He never left me.

He was even there when my whole family died in a car accident.  
It was like déjà vu and I was the only person who survived.

He didn’t even give me fake sympathies and just took me to the rooftop of our school, and we stayed there all night, just watching the stars.

My life turned from perfect to chaos.

And Tsukishima is my only support.

To be honest, I can’t live without him.

I really can’t.

I can’t afford to be left alone once again…

So if he dies…

I swear that I’ll die too.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I woke up at the sound of someone humming softly and was startled to see that I’m on my bed… 

Just… Sleeping…

Not dead.

Do you know that moment of realization that everything… Every single thing was just a nightmare?  
Have you ever felt that extreme happiness while realizing that whatever happened was just a dream and dreams are not real, dreams don’t do serious harm on the people involved in it, dreams are just images flashed by your mind when you’re not conscious.

Dreams can’t kill Tsukishima…

Because he’s right there in my kitchen, singing another random song and preparing breakfast for me like he always does every morning.

I quickly ran towards the kitchen and as soon as I saw the image of him cooking, I embraced his back tightly, my tears threatening to fall. He’s humming my most favorite children’s song that I smiled unconsciously and let a few seconds pass by until he finished the song. 

“I’m so happy you’re alive. I’m so happy it’s just a nightmare…” I whispered softly, burying my face at his broad back. 

I knew it’s just a nightmare. A nightmare that I would soon forget as time passes by. A nightmare that would soon be replaced with new and happy memories. It’s just a mere nightmare. 

It’s just a nightmare.

Tsukishima suddenly removed my arms around him and said, “I’m sorry...” He turned around and whispered, “But... It’s not.”

I was startled by the voice… It’s not… 

It’s not Tsukishima’s…

But… 

Why…?

Why does it feel a whole lot familiar than any other voice I’ve heard in my whole life?

I looked up to see who the owner of the voice is and when I do, all I can think about was…

Eyes. Eyes as blue as the night sky covered in a sea of stars. Eyes as blue and elegant as a high class, expensive and valuable gem. Blue eyes as rich as the ocean’s bottom. Blue eyes that are so beautiful, you’ll think that it’s out of this world.

And then without warning, I realized that it was accompanied by something terrifying… A sudden flood of fear also arrived and washed me away. I felt how dangerous the atmosphere turned out to be. I felt how the air goes chilly and how terror suddenly spread all over the room.

But in that small moment of fear, my heart unbelievably felt peace… Like… Like I’m finally in a place where I should have been for a long time…

I don’t even understand why I felt all of these with just a single look on this stranger.

“Wh-who are you?” I asked and moved away from him when I finally got out of the trance.

He’s tall, not as tall as Tsukishima but the resemblance of their figure is frightening. He has a silky, jet-black hair which I haven’t noticed earlier. The guy suddenly smiled in amusement and even though his smile is actually very scary and forced, I was put in another hypnotizing spell. 

“That’s a very typical question but I don’t usually give my name to humans…” He said and I’m trying my best to think if I’ve really heard that voice before since it’s really a very familiar one.

“Have we met before?” I asked, not really caring if he answered my question earlier or not. This seems more important than even asking who this person is.

He grinned, “Dumbass, shouldn’t you be asking first what I’m doing in your apartment?”

‘Dumbass’

Why…?

I should be offended, right? So why am I feeling these emotions that only Tsukishima can make me feel?

I blinked hard and think logically. I realized that this is really a very weird situation. I think it’s already past 10am and Tsukishima is still not here to wake me up. That’s our daily routine. And now this stranger is inside my apartment, cooking in my kitchen as if it’s his.

“What are you doing in my apartment?” I asked and he chuckled slightly, fixing his hair for a second.

Wow. If he only fixed that smile… 

Just how many girls had have crush on this guy? He can be described in one word.

Gorgeous.

“I’m here to play a game.” He suddenly said and smiled enthusiastically, “Two endings: 1st, you’ll win and Tsukishima Kei will be alive or…” He leaned on the kitchen counter and pointed at me, “2nd, you’ll lose and then you’ll be mine.”

“What?!” I said incredulously. 

He shrugged, “I said it already. Play with me and you’ll get the chance to save your boyfriend.“

I am still looking at him as if he’s an exam question that I can’t figure out.

“Or maybe you just want to be mine, already?” He asked again, giving me that ugly smile which has a very weird effect on me.

I shook my head and get out of the trance, “Are you high? I don’t know who you are so if all you’re gonna say to me are nonsense then please leave. And don’t joke about Tsukishima being dead!” I exclaimed angrily and started to push him towards the door.

And he suddenly disappeared in front of me.

He… He just disappeared into thin air…

I blinked and stared fearfully at my hand. I’m pretty sure that he’s just there… Am I… Am I hallucinating? I looked around in horror and when he suddenly materialized beside me, I screamed. I quickly run away from him and rushed back to my bedroom. I locked the door, covered myself with my blanket tightly and started shaking feverishly.

WHAT. WAS. THAT?!!!

I tried to peek on the door but my mouth dropped when I saw him inside the room, just sitting on the bed and watching me closely. 

HOW. THE. FUCK. DID. HE. GET. INSIDE. IS. HE. A GHOST. OHMYGOD.I. HATE. GHOST. WHAT. HAVE. I. DONE. HE’S. GONNA. KILL. ME. OH.MY.GOD.TSUKISHIMA.WHERE.ARE.YOU.WHATTHEFUCKISWRONGWITHTHISGHOST. I’MAGOODKIDISWEAR.OHMYGOD. DID.I.JUST.HUGGED.A.GHOST?!OHMYGOD. SPAREME.

He shook his head and gave me time to recover from the sudden shock that I got.

“I’m not kidding, Hinata. Tsukishima’s dead and I’m giving you the option of bringing him back to life.” The guy said seriously and I backed away in fear, grabbing one of my pillows for the mere hope that I can throw it at him.

“H-how did you know my name?! Wh-Who are you?!” I asked again and quickly roam my eyes around in a helpless search for something to protect myself from this strange guy. I’m sure that a pillow is not something used to defend yourself.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, don’t worry.” He whispered with this sudden splash of sadness in his eyes. All my fears got washed away and I found myself listening to him carefully.

“I just… I just don’t want to see you suffering… I’m breaking all the rules so please just trust me and play this game on your own free will.” He stated while looking at me pleadingly, “I’m giving you a chance to find your happiness again so please…”

“What are you talking about?” I asked suspiciously, “What rules? I don’t even know who you are so how would I trust you?!” 

He looked at me understandingly and sighed, “Kageyama…” He whispered exhaustedly, “Kageyama Tobio. There. I broke another rule again.” He said as he closed his eyes and run his hands through his hair.

“Wh-what are you?” I whispered breathlessly. 

He studied me first, thinking of something seriously and finally sighed while looking directly at my eyes, “A devil.”

Two options are running through my head by then: One: Laugh at him for making this stupid joke or Two: Ran outside my apartment screaming in fear. 

I did nothing. I don’t know why but I actually believed him immediately. I somehow know that he’s telling the truth. I know that this face is not his face when lying… And even if he really is what he told me he is, I know that he won’t hurt me… 

Ever…

So I just stayed rooted on my spot still not breaking my gaze with him.

“So… are you playing the game?” He asked again but I ignored him. I need to clarify something first.

“Is…” I whispered uneasily, “Is… Tsukishima… really… dead?” 

“Yes. He died yesterday.”

“But… But shouldn’t I be dead too?! I mean, if what happened yesterday REALLY happened, then I shouldn’t have survived! I jumped after him! It’s still clear to me! I chose to die! So why am I here? Why am I alive?!” I accused him and he just bowed his head and sighed.

“I saved you...” He said and whispered softly afterwards, “… Again.”

And when he said those words, it was as if everything in my life made sense. All of a sudden, various memories of my near death experiences came flooding all over me. And then it clicked me…

“You… You’re the shadow…”

He raised his eyebrows and smiled, “The shadow?”

“I saw you yesterday… And… all those other days when something tragic is happening to me… You’re there when I’m involved in that accident with my parents 2 years ago… You’re… you’re also there when I almost died of suffocation from the building on fire… And on the day when I encountered that thief with the gun… I don’t even know how I survived all of those… But… It’s… you… wasn’t it…?”

He looked at me incredulously, “H-How…?”

I looked at him with the same confused expression he’s giving me.

“You remembered those things? And… And you call me the shadow?” He asked again, not answering my question. “How is it possible for you to see me? It’s impossible for a human to see our kind unless a contract is in process.”

“A contract…? Is this what this ‘game’ really is…?”

He shook his head, “No. I told you, I’m breaking the rules here. A contract is only made for people who want to bring back another person to life but there are certain unbreakable rules. The most important is: A life for a life. It means you cannot bring back a person from the dead with nothing. You should sacrifice another life, no matter whose it is, in exchange for the life you’re bringing back. Another important rule is: the life you’ll be exchanging for should be given willingly. You just can’t kill someone and present it to us.”

“Err… So what’s this game? Isn’t this a contract too since I want to bring Tsukishima back to life? Will you… will you ask me for my own life instead…?”

“No.” He said seriously, “I won’t let you die, Hinata. Never. I told you, if you win this game, Tsukishima will come back to life, no need to problem the exchanged life.”

What…? But I thought it was a life for a life…? 

“But… But what if I lose?” I asked worriedly, “You said that I’ll be yours… Why…? Why should I give myself to you? What do you even want from me? Why are you always saving me?”

“It’s for your sake too. I just… I want you safe. I know that if you lose in this game, you’ll just try to kill yourself again. I’ll blame myself if I can save you by that time… I’m not always around, okay? Being mine and staying with me will just ensure that you’ll be secure at all times.”

“Then why are we playing this game? Shouldn’t you just resurrect Tsukishima? You told me that it’s for me… And you know that I want him to be alive again so… Why are you still doing this when you could have gone the easy way around?”

“It’s not that simple, dumbass. I’m getting punished for this. I’m not allowed to give options to humans and of course I’m not allowed to bring back anyone from the dead all of a sudden. This game will serve as our fake contract. We may not look like it but our kind is so detailed and organized in these stuff. If they noticed me conversing with you without a contract, they’ll surely punish you too. So please just cooperate with me on this. After you finish this, you can just forget about me. Forget about all of this. And just… Just be happy… I’m fine with that.” He said softly while smiling nowhere.

I looked at him curiously, intrigued as to why he is doing all of this for me.

“What’s the game…?” I asked finally. I guess I don’t have any choice right? I don’t want Tsukishima to die because of me and I’m ready for whatever it is he gives me. I’ll do it all.

“You’re agreeing to this game?” He asked happily and I nodded.

“Yes. What will we be playing?”

“It’s more of a quiz actually.”

“Uhhh… A quiz...?” I gulped because I’m not really someone who’s good with this kind of thing.

“Yes... It’s an easy one don’t worry...” He said as if he just read my mind.

I nodded again and waited for him to continue.

“So here’s the question…” He started and I readied myself for the hardest questions that may be asked, “…What’s my favorite star?”

“What?!” I looked at him in disbelief, “That’s unfair. How would I know if I answered right? There are a lot of stars in the universe and what if you meant constellations? What if maybe, if I do answer it right, you’ll just say that I’m wrong. This is so subjective too! What kind of star are you referring to? An actress? A decoration? You question is so weird!”

He shook his head and smile as if he enjoyed seeing me flustered, “I won’t cheat, I swear. I’ve only looked for a single star in my whole life that the other stars have lost their beauties already. Besides, the answer is so easy, especially for you. I’m pretty sure you know that star since you love stars the most, right? Don’t think too much. Your heart will give you the answer. And I’ll give you some time to think about it and also some hints later on so feel free to do whatever you want for the mean time. If you need me, just call my name.”

He smiled at me again, “Oh and before I forget… Give me your hand…”

“Why?” I asked but since he didn’t answer, I just reluctantly held my hand out to him and he gently held it.

He started saying weird incantations and tracing something on my hand, intertwining it with his own hands afterwards. In just a few seconds, a blue light suddenly emerged from both of our hands and surrounded us. It stayed for a few seconds and finally disappeared.

“W-What was that?” I asked nervously.

“How should I explain it? Umm… It’s like signing the contract. Now, our contract is valid and recorded. Other devils can’t lay their hands on you since you’re on my umm… custody now…”

“Oh…”

“Well, my job here is done… I’ll take my leave. Take care, Hinata.” He smiled and started to turn around.

“Wait!” I stopped him, “Why are you… Why are you doing this for me…?”

He looked at me as if he can’t believe I even asked that question in the first place, “Isn’t it already obvious?”

I looked at him bewilderedly.

“I love you, that’s why.” He smiled again and finally disappeared.


	4. The Locket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More explanation about the devil's contract and of course gorgeous devil Kags <3

“Kageyama…?” I whispered hesitantly, almost incomprehensible, and a sudden a wisp of cold air entered the closed room. He materialized at the corner of the room, a few meters away from me, and smiled warmly. I was startled at first but I told myself that I should get used to it. He’s wearing another black outfit today although not the same as the first time we met. Maybe there’s a rule that devils should only wear black? Today he looked like someone who’s gonna attend a rock party. His hair was rugged and just sticking out all over his face, his pants was cut at various places, revealing some of his skin and he’s also wearing a black leather jacket to complete the punk character he must be portraying. All in all, he still looks gorgeous.

Not that it matters… I’m just… I’m just describing his looks for familiarization process.

He smirked when he noticed me eyeing his outfit and I blushed and bowed my head, avoiding his gaze. He started walking towards me and sat at the side of my bed, just beside me.

“Did you call me? Or I just assumed that what you whispered earlier was my name?” He asked softly while looking at me.

I looked back at him and speak, “I called you… I… I still have many questions… And I don’t know what to do… Or… where to start. I’m so confused with all of these… I even thought that I just imagined you…” I confessed and he just looked at me concernedly.

I continued, “I called my friends yesterday and asked them about Tsukishima… And they said… They said they don’t know who I’m talking about… How is that possible?! We’ve known each other since high school so how can they not know him?! And… And when I tried to go to his apartment… It just… It doesn’t exist! It’s just a normal empty backyard… I thought I just mistook that place for his apartment but I didn’t… I also tried to look for our pictures but… I can’t find them! What’s happening? I thought Tsukishima just died… Why does it seem like he didn’t even exist in the first place?!”

He closed his eyes and sighed, “You don’t need to worry about that, Hinata. It’s all part of the process. Tsukishima’s soul is now torn apart between being alive and being dead and it all depends on your answer to our game. Right now, his existence in this world will be temporarily erased until the game is taking place. This is to ensure that if ever you win this game, people won’t remember that he died in the first place because during the period of his death, they won’t remember anything about him. The memories will come back after this is finished.” He explained.

“However,” He looked at me kindly, “The same goes if you lose this game. Although the catch is… their memories of Tsukishima won’t come back.”

I was taken aback by what he said. “Why? Why would you do that?I don’t want anyone to forget Tsukishima!”

“That’s the price,” He uttered while having this unreadable expression, “It’s actually something I like because I hate it when I see humans mourning for someone who can’t come back anymore. It’s better if they just forget about the dead.” 

I looked at him in disbelief and shook my head slowly, “You don’t understand…”

“What?” 

“You don’t understand a thing about us… I don’t want to forget… Even though it’s painful for me to know that Tsukishima’s dead… I don’t want to forget about him… He’s someone precious to me. To us. Erasing our memories is just so… Cruel. You’re not just erasing the painful ones… You’re erasing EVERYTHING. And I don’t want that… Besides… What do you know about death? You can’t even die in the first place!” I scoffed at him. 

How could he speak as if he knows what we’re feeling? How could he act as if this was just really a game…? A game where the prize is Tsukishima’s life. How could he? He’s such a hypocrite. He’s only saying this because he’s an immortal devil.

“We can die.”

I looked at him abruptly and frowned, “What?”

He smiled bitterly, “It’s the law of the universe, right? Everything has its end. Everyone dies. Tsukishima can die. You can also die so why can’t I? I’m not immortal. I may not die in the same way as humans but… I CAN die. And that’s a fact…”

Silence spread around us and I couldn’t help myself so I asked, “H-how…? How is it possible for you to die? Aren’t you the ones who collect people’s souls? I thought your kind is immortal…”

“We don’t ‘collect’ souls. We just guide them to their final destination. And see this locket?” He then showed a locket hidden beneath his clothes. It’s actually an elegant one, a golden sphere with a clasp shaped like a star at the middle. The star is glowing with a faint orange light, slowly disappearing and reappearing again, like a sophisticated fire in the middle of an abyss. I got enchanted by how gorgeous that star looked, like it was made perfectly just for him.

“This…” He said and looked at me seriously, “This is my life.”

“What?”

“It’s simple actually. If someone destroys this: I die. End of story.”

“I don’t understand… Why is your life connected with that locket? And… And what will happen when you die? Could someone bring you back to life again…? Like what I’m doing with Tsukishima…?”

He smiled while looking down and shook his head as if thinking of something funny, “Who would want to bring a devil back to life, dumbass? I don’t even think it has ever happened. No one is stupid enough to sacrifice their own life for someone of our kind.”

“And this locket…” He held it delicately while smiling nowhere, “This locket contains the thing that we treasure the most. It connects us to the only thing that we protect. That’s why it symbolizes our life because like humans, this is something we can’t live without. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a locket. I just designed it that way ‘cause I want it to be always near me.”

“So that you can protect it and you can’t die?” I asked curiously. He’s still looking at the locket with the softest look that he can give. I wonder what’s inside it.

“I don’t even care if I die.” He said honestly, “I just… I just want whatever is in this locket to be safe… and protected…”

I suddenly had the urge to get the locket from him and see whatever it is he is so overprotective about when he started to speak again.

“Oh and one more thing…” He chuckled as if he just remembered something painfully funny, “Do you know that when you kill a devil, you can bring another person back to life? That’s the biggest joke I’ve ever known in my whole life… Now where’s the equality here…? That rule is already a death penalty for us. It’s like telling everyone to just kill us so that they can enjoy their life with dead people again. That’s why we only make contracts with people we trust. Our lives are always on the line during contracts.”

I gazed at him in surprise. Does he really trust me that much that he is willing to share this important information to me? He looks like he doesn’t really mind that I know about this fact now. The level of trust that he’s giving me is overwhelming. I looked at him sympathetically since he’s really having a very wretched face right now. I hesitantly touched his hand and he stiffened suddenly. He then looked at me with these… These peculiar eyes that seem to be blasting with so much emotions that I can’t describe.

I smiled at him and said, “You know… when I’m sad, I just look at the stars and everything will be alright again… I’m not saying that you should look at the stars too but you can try looking at something you really like. It may not solve your problems but sometimes all we need is a little inspiration, right? And I may not know you for long but I can tell that you’re kind-hearted so I know that someday, you’ll get your reward for that.” I said and started to scratch the side of my cheeks, “And you know… I… I kinda like your smile… I mean, your smile is awful but… But it calms me and I don’t even know why… So… I hope that you’ll continue smiling even though I’m not here.”

It became very silent after that and I started getting embarrassed for the cheesy lines that I’ve said. I was on the verge of punching myself when he suddenly chuckled and covered his face in embarrassment, “You really never change.” He whispered softly and I frowned.

“What?”

He shook his head and stood up, exhaling tiredly, “I need to leave. Just call me again if you need something or if you’re ready to answer the question in our game. I’ll give you some hints. It’s actually a small star.” He chuckled as if enjoying a joke of his own, “A small but very beautiful star. Sometimes it shines, sometimes it doesn’t, well it depends on its mood… Oh, it’s very orange, by the way. It’s also always in danger… I don’t know what’s wrong with it, I think it loves making me worry.”

“What...?”

He smiled, “It’s not actually a real star... But for me... It’s the best star in the whole universe... It’ll always be the most beautiful star out there...”

I frowned at him and he leaned down to whisper on my ears.

“And I’m always looking at it… Like what you just said a while ago. Like what you said to me years ago…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very short. Forgive meee~  
> And I'm sorry for actually forgetting about my stories lol I've been so busy for the past months but I'm actually kinda free now :)  
> I will try to update more frequently now <3 (I'll see if I can update tomorrow but don't keep your hopes up lol)  
> We're almost at the end although there's still quite a lot of things that will happen, I think hahaha
> 
> Thanks for those reading this and commenting!!! I truly appreciate it <3


	5. The Answer and More Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata gave the answer and Kags is still adorable (lol don't mind me, this is totally bias XD)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized that i can't update tomorrow since I'm going back to my univ for some academic matters so I guess I'll just give you the next chapter? haha  
> Enjoy~ <3

I walked around my room restlessly. It’s been more than a week since Kageyama gave me the question and I’m still afraid to answer. It’s because it seems like the end. I only get two options in every scenario. I win or I lose. Tsukishima dies or Tsukishima lives. I stay with Kageyama or I never see him again…

These thoughts made me afraid.

But I can’t take it anymore… I’m yearning to see Tsukishima again… I want to see his face again… I want to hear his voice again. I want to… I want to be with him again.

Being with Kageyama makes me feel confused. It’s like he’s becoming a substitute for Tsukishima and I don’t want to remember him like that. Tsukishima is my boyfriend and no matter how much I love Kageyama’s company, I shouldn’t be misdirected on my goal. My goal is to bring Tsukishima back to life and end my suffering. That’s all that matters.

He's all that matters.

And I think I already knew the right answer for Kageyama’s question.

“Kageyama.” I said and waited for him to appear. I’m not really surprised anymore of his sudden appearing and disappearing act. He always visits me these past few days and we get to know each other more and more although it seems like he already knew everything about me.

Which sounds creepy but the thing is… I don’t mind.

I don’t actually get it but I somehow know what he prefers. We actually played a guessing game one time and I can’t believe I guessed almost all of his questions right. I guessed that if ever he did become a volleyball player, he would want to be a setter. I somehow also guessed his favorite color, favorite food, and other trivial stuff. It’s weird but I guess I’m becoming good at reading people? 

I wonder if he’s like that too. Is he good at reading people too? Does he know what’s going in my mind?

“Yes?” Someone whispered behind me and I instantly shivered.

I turned around and glared at him, “Stop doing that!”

“Whaaat~?” He asked, chuckling with a playful tone.

“That! That whispering on my ear thing. I’m not in the mood to play with you.”

“Aww… And I even thought I’ll have revenge for that… what’s it called again? Monopoly?” He chuckled and I rolled my eyes.

“I’m ready to answer your game.” I said seriously and his face changed at the blink of an eye.

“Oh… I see.” He muttered softly, his face showing an emotion I can’t read, “Well…?”

“My answer is—“

“Wait!” He exclaimed, “Hina-- Dumbass… Stop…”

“Huh?”

“Let me remember your face first.”

“What?”

“You know…” He smiled, “If you answer this correctly then you won’t ever see me again, right?”

“Err… I know… But that doesn’t mean that you’ll never see me again too. I may not see you anymore but you can always see me, right? You’re always watching me…”

I actually learned that he’s been stalking me for years already so I guess I should be careful after this contract. I now know that this pervert is watching me almost all the time, every day. Besides, I actually see him from time to time. In normal, non-threatening situations, I still see a shadow on the corner of my eye but not as visible as when there is danger waiting for me. So, I guess even after this, we could still feel each other’s presence.

He shook his head and just smiled, “But this time… it’s different.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t mind it…” He smiled and cupped my face gently with both hands.

I giggled when he starts caressing my face as if trying to engrave the touch of my skin on his hands. I started leaning towards his hand and I smiled widely at him. When he saw me doing that, I swear I saw a faint glistening in the corner of his eyes as he started to smile back. 

His gaze hardened just a few seconds after that and he smiled expectantly at me.

“So… What’s your answer?” 

I breathed deeply and put on a determined face, “When you said that you’re just looking at a single star for most of your life, I thought that this star should be something very special to you, right?”

“Yes.” He smiled.

“You said that it’s just near you and you even said that it’s little but it’s the most beautiful star out there.”

“It’s really the most beautiful.” He agreed.

“You said that sometimes it glows sometimes it doesn’t.”

“Depending on its mood.” He chuckled.

“And it’s orange.”

He smiled, “Like a tangerine.”

“You said that it’s always in danger…”

“Yeah, I don’t know why,” He chuckled “So… Are you just gonna describe it or what? And remember Hinata, this is also a contract. Even though it’s fake, the rules still apply. If you answered it right you can just forget all of these but if you’re wrong… You will be sworn mine…”

“I know… I know… I got this…” I said, while hitting my chest proudly which made him chuckle again.

“Well, I guess this is goodbye? I’ll miss you.” He said softly and raised his eyebrows waiting for my answer.

“My answer to your question is…” I breathed and pointed at him. “That.”

“What?” He said confusedly, a little bit in panic.

“The star in your locket. That’s the answer, right?”

The moment I answered, a blinding blue light erupted inside the room and surrounded both me and Kageyama again. I looked at him confusedly but he’s just frozen at his spot, with his mouth slightly open in disbelief.

Kageyama looked at me alarmingly, frowning and shaking his head in distress, “What have you done, dumbass…?”

“Huh?”

“I knew I shouldn’t have given you a quiz knowing how slow you are!!! It’s so freaking obvious. How stupid can you be? What should I do now?!” He exclaimed while walking back and forth in worry, “Tell me that’s not really your answer.”

“What? No. It’s my answer.” I said confusedly, “What’s wrong with you, Kageyama?”

He stopped and looked at me seriously, “You’re wrong…” He declared, “And now you’re gonna promise yourself to me… Now and forever.”

I froze.  
I looked at him in disbelief.

“W-what…?”

“I told you, dumbass… It’s wrong… Dumbass, Hinata. I thought you’re gonna answer it easily. I’m giving you so many hints already. Why have you mistaken this star for the answer?” He accused me while holding his locket, “It can’t even compare to it.”

I panicked and looked around helplessly, remembering the consequences if I lose in this game, “But what about Tsukishima?!” I ran towards Kageyama and shook him, “Kageyama! What will happen to Tsukishima?! 

He sighed, “I… I told you already… This is your last chance to be with him… And you lost…”

“No!” I screamed, pushed him away and started to cry, “No… This can’t be…”

“Hinata… I…” He muttered worriedly while walking towards me.

“Now I’m gonna be stuck with someone like you?!” I scowled.

Kageyama froze and whispered weakly, “S-someone like me…?”

I glared at him and sneered mockingly, “Yeah… Who would want to be with a devil?! I don’t care if you love me or what! I’ll only love Tsukishima! Stop thinking that I would easily go with you! I don’t want to be with you! I’d rather die!”

“H-Hinata..”

I scowled at him once again, “Who would be stupid enough to love a devil?!”

I don’t know what I’m saying and what I’m thinking anymore. All that’s running through my mind is that Tsukishima will never be alive anymore. I won’t hear his voice again. I won’t see those loving eyes again. I won’t wake up to him cooking my favorite foods again... I won’t... I won’t ever see him again...

He’ll be forgotten by everyone...  
He’ll... He’ll just die like that...  
He’ll never be alive again...

No... I won’t let that happen...  
Never...

**_Do you know that when you kill a devil, you can bring another person back to life?_ **

I stood frozen in realization that another solution is just in my reach. I stood there and looked at Kageyama in a new way. I looked at him as if he’s just another game. Another game that I’m supposed to finish in order to win.

I didn’t even care a bit about him. I didn’t even notice that tears are already threatening to flow on his beautiful face. I didn’t even notice that he’s telling me something.

All I did was lunge towards him and grab the locket forcefully from his neck. I smiled triumphantly when I got it without any effort. I can’t believe that it’s more beautiful up close. The star engraved on it was now glowing with a dark orange color now. How can this be not the answer? He’s just lying to me. He just wants me for his own pleasure.

I grabbed my metal pencil case in a hurry and placed the locket quickly on the table. I can’t believe that it’s just as simple as this. I kill Kageyama then voila~ Tsukishima lives. 

I’m pretty sure no one will miss him.

The locket seems so fragile. I guess with just a single strike it will shatter to pieces. I started to aim the pencil case towards the locket and smile.

I can see Tsukishima again.

I was about to hit it when I feel arms encircling around my waist softly. I shivered when I felt Kageyama kissing my shoulders gently.

“Go on...” He whispered silently, “It’s okay if it’s you...”

And I realized that Kageyama didn’t even stop me earlier. Did he expect that I’ll be doing this?  
I shook my head. I need to bring Tsukishima back to life. I shouldn’t be swayed by what Kageyama’s saying.

I tightened my grip on the pencil case and I can feel Kageyama’s arms tightening around me too. His heart beating so fast and his breath quickening. I guess he’s afraid to die too. He buried his face around my neck and I instantly felt weak.

“Goodbye, my one and only star...” He whispered softly and I froze.

“W-what...?” I whispered back with eyes wide open. Why does this feel so familiar?

I can feel him smiling softly as he whispered once again, “I love you so much.”

A tear instantly fell on my cheek and the pencil case dropped from my hands. I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know what I’m feeling. I don’t know why I’m crying like this.

I felt my legs weakening and I slid down to the floor, taking Kageyama with me as I continue to cry. He quickly looked at me with worry and encapsulated me in his arms.

“What’s wrong, Hinata...?” He asked worriedly.

I buried my face on his chest as he tightened his arms around me. I just shook my head and gripped on his shirt tightly as I continue to cry.

“Shhh... It’s okay... It’s okay... Stop crying...” He cooed.

I tried to speak in between my sobs, “I... I’m so... Sorry... I’m sorry... I’m...”

“No... It’s okay... I understand... You can kill me as many times as you want, my love... I’m okay with that...” He smiled, “My life is all yours...”

I began crying harder with this unknown feeling weighing down so much in my chest. I feel so much pain. I don’t understand where this pain is coming from.

Kageyama started rocking me back and forth slowly in his arms and started singing softly, “Twinkle, twinkle, little star... How I wonder what you are... Up above the world so high... Like a diamond in the sky... Twinkle, twinkle, little star... How I wonder what you are...”

In a matter of a few seconds, my tears unexpectedly stopped and I suddenly feel safe and loved once again. How...? How did he manage to do that with just a song? And why… Why is my heart aching with an unknown emotion once again?

He grinned in satisfaction, “It always does the trick.”

“What?” I looked at him in confusion.

He shook his head and smiled while wiping the remaining tears in my face softly, “Nothing.”

I bit my lips in embarrassment. How could he still smile like that to me when I just tried to kill him?

He held my face with both of his hands and said, “I told you that it’s okay, dumbass... Don’t feel guilty about what you did.”

“But...” I started but he just pinched my cheeks.

“One word from you again and I’ll kiss you.” He warned and I blushed instantly. I bowed and covered my face in embarrassment.

He chuckled and ruffled my hair, “I understand that you don’t want to be with someone like me... But... I told you... A fake contract is still a contract... You’re gonna be in danger if you don’t agree with it.” He said seriously, “Now I’m giving you two options once again... One: Agree with the contract and suffer with someone like me or Two: Kill me.”

“WHAT?!” I said and looked at him in disbelief.

He smiled and stood up, “I’m serious. I don’t care if I die, as long as you’re happy. I’m gonna leave for a while but I’ll come back for you, Hinata. I didn’t expect this to happen. I really thought you’re gonna answer it right. Now I need to hide you first.”

I look at him in an expression that clearly shows my confusion. Does this mean that he purposely told me about the rule on killing a devil because he actually wants me to kill him if all else fails? And what should he hide me from? What will happen?

He smiled again and shook his head in understanding. “I broke the rules. I’m gonna get some punishment. I need to keep you somewhere safe first. We’re connected now so if you’re just here, they can easily find you and hurt you too.”

“They…?”

“Umm… How should I explain it…? I’m referring to the maintainer of rule in the underworld. It’s like the police but they punish rule-breakers in a more brutal way… They are punishing only me before since you have no idea that I’m saving you all those times but since this time it’s different, they’ll surely hurt you too… But I won’t let them do that…” 

I nodded and bit my lips in guilt. I didn’t even think about what Kageyama is sacrificing for me. And I even tried to kill him for Tsukishima. How many punishments did he receive for always saving me? 

“Oh and dumbass...” He started and as soon as I looked at him in the eyes, he quickly closed our distance and leaned in to kiss my forehead.

I widened my eyes and felt my cheeks getting hot instantly.

He grinned and held out his hand making a peace sign, “Two... You spoke two words.”

He stuck his tongue out playfully towards me and quickly turned around, ready to disappear.

“Wait!” I stopped him.

He turned back at me and grinned, “Why? You’re killing me now for kissing you on the forehead?”

“No…” I whispered while looking down, “I’m just wondering… When you said that I don’t need to worry for the exchanged life that was needed for Tsukishima to come back… You’re… You’re actually planning on giving your life… right…?”

He didn’t reply. Instead, he just smiled warmly at me and finally disappeared leaving me with so many unanswered questions.

I touched the place where his lips were just placed a while ago.

Can this guy confuse me even more?

But... 

I’m so thankful that I haven’t done what I was supposed to do earlier...

Now that I’ve thought about my actions and consequences of it...

Thinking that I won’t be able to see him again hurts me so much...

So much...

Why does losing Kageyama feels much painful than losing Tsukishima...?

Why...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama is such a precious blueberry muffin ;A; *throws Hinata at him*  
> Anyway, I guess the next update will be next week since I'll be busy this weekend :)  
> Hope you're enjoying the story!


	6. More than enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are cheesy lines (not necessarily sweet) that I always cringe when I read but I don't know what to replace so bear with it lol. I was supposed to re-write this whole chapter since I'm gonna change the plot but since I'm also busy with my thesis, I don't know where to find the time to edit this so you may find this cringy huhu still hope you enjoy this <3

“Kageyama...?” I said hesitantly as I sat uncomfortably on the big soft bed inside this vast room. It’s just a simple room that already looks like a whole house since everything that a person may need is already here. However, it has no doors nor windows so I have no idea where I am or even what time is it. He brought me here a few weeks ago and even though he provides me with all the necessities, I get bored from time to time. I don't have the slightest idea of our real situation but from what I found out these past few weeks, we're still under suspicion from Kageyama's superiors. He said that his superiors have been alerted of an informal contract and they kinda know that its connected to him. They are letting him do his usual job but Kageyama said that one mistake could lead to drastic consequences, so I'm trying my best not to complain. Besides, he's been really nice to me. It was as if he's ignoring the fact that I tried to kill him in exchange of Tsukishima's life. That was a horrible choice that I wish I never made. 

Kageyama has been nothing but understanding ever since then. Whenever I opened the topic, or even try to apologize, he'll immediately give me a forced smile and change the topic right away. Maybe he knows how uncomfortable I am of what I did. But to be honest... I want him to get angry. I want him to scream at me and push me away. I was the reason why he's hiding and even though he always says that he's happy that I'm here... I feel that he's not.

Even though happiness is clearly evident in his eyes, there's also an underlying sadness there whenever he's looking at me. It's like, I remind him of some painful experience. I just wish I can understand everything. I don't want to force him to tell me something he doesn't like so I guess I have no choice but to wait for him to open up his heart.

"Hey."

I gasped when someone suddenly tickled me from the side. I turned around and glared at him, “Stop doing that...”

“Doing what?” He said innocently and jumped on the bed wildly, successfully making me bounce from it.

What the… This huge bloke may give the first impression of being cool and composed but to be honest, he’s more of a kid than me. His only redeeming factor is his height! (Okay fine, maybe his face too) But still, why am I stuck with this guy?!

As soon as he started bouncing more ferociously, I saw him wincing painfully. I was about to ask him what's wrong but he just bounced the bed again and I ended up falling on the bed.

This stupid giant.

You want some play time? I'll give you play time.

I immediately stood and grab the huge pillow beside me. I threw it at him with the strongest force and fastest speed that I could muster. However, he just triumphantly caught it and grinned. I rolled my eyes and all of a sudden, the exact same pillow landed hard on my face.

“Kageyama!”

“What?” He smirked as if wanting to prove that he has the advantage in this sudden pillow throwing contest.

“Stop---”

And another pillow landed on my face.

“I said stop throwi---”

Another one.

I grabbed both of the pillows and glared at him, “I swear... If you continue to---”

And yeah... He still threw a pillow and I ended up falling on the bed again. WHY DO WE HAVE SO MANY PILLOWS?!!

I stood up on the bed and positioned myself in a fighting form. He did the same. We’re both waiting for one another to start throwing the pillows and when I saw Kageyama smirk I quickly threw a pillow at him.

It hit him straight in the face.

"Pfft."

I started laughing loudly because his face was so hilarious and before I could celebrate my clean shot, another pillow hit me. Geez...

“You'll pay for that!!!”

I glared at him and jump suddenly, causing the bed to bounce wildly. I guess he didn’t expect that so he lost his balance and landed flat on his back.

I wasn't expecting what happened next. He suddenly let out an inhumane scream as if he's experiencing a lot of pain. I frowned and approach him immediately. Isn’t the bed soft? Why did it hurt him? Did I leave some trash on the bed again???

“Kageyama...” I said while looking at his pained face, “Kageyama are you okay?” I asked worriedly while patting his arm.

He’s still wincing in pain, hugging himself while I was still dumbfounded without knowing what to do. It’s only now that I realized that he’s also sweating so much.

“Hey... What happened? Tell me! What should I do?!” I asked in panic. I touched his forehead with mine and it doesn’t seem he got a fever so why is he acting like this?

“Is your stomach aching? Did I hit you too hard? Tell me!”

He shook his head and tried to breathe evenly, sitting slowly, “It’s okay... I’m okay...”

“No... You’re not okay! What happened? Where does it hurt?” I continue asking but he just shook his head stubbornly.

“I’m okay... I’ll... I’ll just leave you here so... Don’t worry about me... I... There's... There's actually a job I forgot to do so...”

“NO!” I said and grabbed his wrist tightly, “You’re not leaving me like this again! Please, Kageyama... Don’t avoid me when you’re in pain. Don’t hide it from me. If you do.... If you do... I’ll...” I said and Kageyama looked at me curiously, “I’ll... be angry and spike you in the face!”

Without warning, Kageyama started to smile and it turned to continuous laughter in no time.

“What’s funny about what I said?! Do you think I’m joking?!”

“No...” He said in between his laughter, “It’s just... It’s so like you...”

“Huh?”

“Nothing... Don’t mind me...”

“I don’t get you sometimes. Anyway, tell me where does it hurt?” I pressed on and Kageyama shook his head again.

“It’ll heal, Hinata. Don’t worry.”

“Huh??? What will heal? Did you injure your back? Show me!” I said and lifted his shirt before he can stop me.

I gasped when I saw the state of his back. It’s full of fresh and old wounds. Like someone whipped him harshly. The fresh wounds are so deep and some of the old wounds are also reopening. Blood is trickling down on his back and since he’s wearing a black shirt, I failed to notice it. I can’t believe that he can still play with me in this state. Or maybe he's trying to hide his pain by playing with me? Does he really not want to show me that he's suffering? But what kind of cruel creature did this to him?

“What happened...?” I whispered at him, clearly frightened. "Did they found out...?"

“It’s nothing.” He sighed, still avoiding my gaze. "You don't need to worry."

“It’s because of me, right...?”

“No...”

“Stop lying. I hate it when someone lies to me.”

“I know.”

“So stop lying.”

He sighed again, “Everything's my fault, Hinata. I chose to do what I did. Everything is my fault so don’t ever blame yourself.”

I scoffed at his way of thinking.

“But why is it always about me?! Why are you always shouldering everything?! Why are you keeping secrets? You keep telling me that you are safe, that we’re both safe! I trusted you and behaved myself because I thought… I thought if I tried my best to be good, you’ll not be involved in any trouble. And now I’m learning that you’re still getting punished for the things that involved me? You could have avoided all of this if you just let me die!” I accused him and he quickly glared at me.

“Why do you keep on saying that, huh?! I won’t let you die, okay?! I promised. I’ve promised that to you. I’ve promised that to myself. I’ve promised that to the stars. So whatever happens, you’ll stay alive until you grew so old and lived a happy life!” He shouted and I looked at him in disbelief.

“Why am I even a big deal to you?!”

“You won’t understand...”

“Then make me understand!” I yelled at him.

“No.”

“Wha---“ I looked at him in disbelief, “You’re so unfair.”

He smiled bitterly, “Well... Everything is unfair, dumbass. Even our lives are unfair.”

I avoided his gaze and bit my lips in disappointment. Why can’t he trust me? Why can’t he just tell me what I need to know? It’s just simple, right? I just wanna know what I am to him. I just wanna know why he’s doing all of these for me. I just want him to be honest to me. But he can’t even do that.

When he noticed that I won’t look at him anymore, he started caressing my cheeks slowly, guiding my face to look at him in the eye, “I’m sorry for shouting at you... I just don’t want you blaming yourself or regarding your life as something unimportant. It’s important to me. I love you, okay? So you’re so important to me.”

I looked back at him and sighed. Why, Kageyama? Why do you love me?  
Why are you doing all of these for me...?

As if he's reading my mind again, he whispered softly, "Hinata, sometimes... Sometimes you do not need reason for protecting someone you love. You act on instinct. You keep secrets... And sometimes, you even hurt them because you know it's for the best. What I'm doing may be selfish but... But I really can't explain anything to you right now... I'm sorry but you just have to trust me. It's fine if you don't but I'll still do everything I can to protect you."

"You never give me answers."

"Because I am not allowed to give you answers."

"Why?"

He looked at me as if he's about to cry. He closed his eyes and take a deep breath, "I really need to leave. I'll see you later, my star."

And he disappeared again like that, leaving all of my questions unanswered once again.

What if...  
What if Kageyama had been a human? Will I fall in love with him like what I did with Tsukishma?  
What did I do to make him fall for me like this?  
What do I look in his eyes?  
I’m not even that special but what does he see in me for him to sacrifice so many things for someone like me.  
I really don’t have the right to be with him anymore. I’ve done so many awful things to him.  
But still... He loves me...

Why?

He’s not even a devil in my eyes anymore.  
He’s an angel.  
My personal guardian angel...

An angel that I tried to kill.  
An angel full of mysteries and secrets...  
A beautiful angel that I’m starting to fall into...

I hate it because the heart of people is always so weak.  
When someone show us a great deal of kindness when we need it the most, all of a sudden we see all the beautiful things in them and let ourselves be vulnerable fools.  
Is this what they call a superficial kind of love?

I hate myself for looking at Kageyama in this way.  
I hate myself for falling for him slowly...  
I hate myself so much because I don’t even get why I’m falling for him.

I’m not the type of person who falls in love with people in just a blink of an eye just because of insincere reasons like he’s handsome or he’s always there when I need him.  
I know that Kageyama satisfies those two conditions but... I don’t think it’s because of that...  
Why is it that I always feel that there’s more to it than that?

Why do I always feel this strange connection with him?  
I always thought that Tsukishima is the one...  
Ever since I met him years ago, I’ve only looked at him.

Tsukishima helped me forget all those painful memories.  
Tsukishima helped me make new ones.  
Tsukishima promised me ‘forever’.

So why can’t I see that ‘forever’ with him anymore?

Why is it that I can only see Kageyama now?

Am I turning like this just because Tsukishima is not here?  
Am I letting myself fall just because Kageyama is the one who’s always near me now?

I want to know everything about Kageyama...  
I want to know all of his secrets and mysteries...  
I want to know why his eyes glow with happiness when he’s talking to me and why they look so lonely when I’m not looking.  
I want to know his every fear and all those tears that he’s been bottling up.  
I want to know how he first met me...

I am not perfect. I am not special. I am not a movie character that people get obsessed with. I am just a normal and ordinary guy that you can see anywhere.

Would he please just tell me why?

‘Cause I’m starting to let him in...  
I’m starting to accept these weird and inexplicable feelings...

And I’m afraid...

I’m so afraid...

Because what if in the end, all these things turned out to be just a very long nightmare?

\--------------------------------------------------------------********---------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Tobio! Look! I’ve baked something!” I hurriedly said to him when he appeared inside my room.

He just smiled at me and chuckled, “Are you sure it’s safe for human consumption?”

I glared at him, “Well... You’re not a human.”

He chuckled again, “Oh I forgot. So... Is it safe for a devil’s consumption?”

I rolled my eyes on him, “Do you want it or not?”

“I’m just kidding, Shoyou. You know I’ll eat whatever it is you cooked.”

“Liar. You didn’t even taste the homemade ice cream yesterday.”

He looked at me alarmingly, “It’s an ice cream?! I thought it was a cold soup or something.”

I hit his head, “It’s ice cream! It just didn’t freeze right so it’s still in the liquid form!”

“Aww... Don’t hit me, dumbass~ You know you’re getting more and more brutal towards me.”

“Your fault.”

“What did I do?”

“You still won’t agree to show me what’s in your locket.”

He looked at me wearily, “Do we need to fight about this again?”

“No. If you’ll just let me look in your locket.”

“No.”

“Tobio....” I whined, “Don’t tell me that you’re still afraid to give it to me? I won’t do anything with your locket. I won’t even scratch it… Or maybe… You still don’t trust me…?” I asked him worriedly.

“Ah.” Tobio suddenly said and looked at me, “That reminds me... You’ve been staying here for almost 6 months... Aren’t you getting bored? Aren’t you missing your friends out there?”

“How does that even connect to what we’re talking about? What are you implying?” I asked him curiously.

He looked at me again and smiled, “When will you kill me?”

“What?!”

“Shoyou... You still need to make the decision. We can’t just avoid it forever, right?”

“But...”

“You still miss Tsukishima Kei, right? So it’s okay if you kill me anytime…” He smiled and I looked at him in disbelief.

“Why are you like that?!” I asked him angrily.

“What?” He asked in pure confusion.

“You kept on saying you love me! Yet you want me to kill you! You want me to be with Tsukishima! Don’t you even want me to end up with you?!”

“Shoyou... It’s not like that..."

"Then what was it supposed to be?"

"That’s the thing about loving someone, okay? You always want the best for them and I know that the best for you is not being together with me. I can’t give you a normal life, okay? I can’t even let you meet your friends. If you’re with me, you’ll end up being locked up like this for the rest of your life. I don’t want that for you. Tsukishima can give you the future that I don’t have. I love you, that’s why I’m doing this.” He whispered.

“LIAR! Maybe you’re just lying that you love me. Maybe you’re just playing with me! Maybe you just want to die and you’re just using me! Maybe---”

I gasped when Tobio suddenly pushed me hard and I landed on the bed instantly. 

He got on top of me, trapping me with both of his arms. I looked at him in fear and he looked back at me piercingly.

“Maybe what...?” He whispered dangerously.

“T-Tobio...” I squeaked and tried to push him away but he just pinned my wrist on the bed.

“Maybe what, Shoyou?!” He pressed on, still looking at me intensely.

“S-stop...” I whispered fearfully and avoided his gaze.

“Look at me!” He commanded and I closed my eyes in fright.

“I said look at me, Shoyou.” He whispered seriously and I inhaled and slowly looked back at him.

“Now tell me what you have been really thinking about me these past few weeks.” He commanded again, “Tell it straight to my face.”

“B-but...”

“NOW!” He yelled and I bit my lips alarmingly.

“I think... You’re just lying to me...” I started.

“About what?” He asked quickly.

“I don’t know... Some things... Everything...”

“Huh?”

“It’s just... You’re always saying that you love me but you never even show it... You’re just always playing around... You’re always acting like a kid... You’re just always having fun... You just want to play games. And I thought… I thought maybe… I’m just one of your play toys too.”

He frowned, “What?! But… All I want is to make you happy… Isn’t that... making you happy enough?”

“No... It’s like... I’m just your best friend... I don’t even feel that I’m that special to you...” I confessed and he frowned even more.

“Then what do you want me to do?” He asked curiously.

“Kiss me.”

“W-what...?” He said and loosened his hold on my wrist.

“I said kiss me.” I said seriously and he gazed at me piercingly again. We stayed like that for a while until he sighed and closed his eyes.

He shook his head and started to stand up, "No."

I scoffed at him, “See... You can’t even do that. I know you'll run away. You always do that.”

Tobio looked at me in disbelief and frowned, “I’m not that kind of person.”

“You’re not even a person! You’re a devil, Tobio! So act like one!” I yelled at him while still lying stupidly on the bed.

“You love Tsukishima, not me.”

“That’s the point! How could I love you when you kept denying the fact that we could end up together?! How could I love you when you just treat me as a playmate?” I said while sitting up slowly.

“I’m not treating you as a playmate! I’m enduring myself all these times… I’m respecting you, okay…? What’s wrong with that?!” He asked and looked at me.

“We’re not kids anymore, Tobio. We’re not teenage kids dealing with superficial things in life. We’re not kids who only want someone to play with. I don't want to spend my life playing games with you here forever. I can't even look at the stars here, yet I'm still staying with you and that's something! Tobio, I know you want to protect me but... I'll still die someday. I'll still leave you some day. Why can't you be selfish for once and treat everyday as if it'll gonna be the last day you'll see me? Start treating me as if I'm someone who'll suddenly disappear from your sight.” I said seriously and he suddenly froze as if he’s been struck by something.

“So it’s time you start acting like a grown-up. It’s time to learn when to stop with all those childish games. It’s time to stop treating me as if I’m just your playmate because I’m not, okay? I... I’m more than that, right? Right?!” I said again but it seems like he didn’t even hear me. He started walking aimlessly while holding his locket absentmindedly. I was about to get angry at him again when I saw him wiping his eyes gently.

Is he... crying?

“Tobio?”

“H-huh?”

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Wh-What did you say?”

I sighed and rolled my eyes on him. It’s no use. Maybe he didn’t even know what love means. I walked away from him and lay on my bed. I covered my whole body with the blanket and closed my eyes. I’ll just choose sleep than to talk to him. He’s really getting on my nerves.

After a while, I felt the bed sinking slowly and a hand lowering the covers from my head.

“Shoyou...?”

“Go away. I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Listen to me...”

“No.”

“Well, you’ll still hear me whether you like it or not.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m not a human, Shoyou. I’ll tell this to you again and again because it's the truth. No matter how much I want to be with you, no matter how much I love you... I... I can’t be with you.” He whispered and I shook my head and sneered.

“Whatever. You’re gonna use that speech to me again.” I whispered mockingly at him, not even looking, “So what if you’re a devil? And what if I’m a human? Is there any law that says we can’t be together? I don’t even get you... Why don’t you just convince me to be with you instead of always pushing me to Tsukishima? You always tell me that my life is important so why can’t you just value yours?”

Tobio stayed silent that I thought he’d left already but I suddenly felt the bed shuffling and in no time, he’s already inside the blanket and embracing my back tightly.

“Shoyou...” He whispered tenderly directly at my ear, “Are you... Are you falling for me...?”

I stayed silent and closed my eyes as I let him encapsulate me in his arms tighter.

“Hey... Answer me...”

I whispered softly, aware that I'm blushing, “So what If i am...?”

I heard him sigh and he started to kiss my shoulder softly, “I’m not saying that you shouldn’t fall for me... Or that you shouldn’t love me... I’m just giving you your best chance... What will your life be when you chose me?”

“I don’t know...” I said sarcastically, “A happy life?”

“Shoyou...” He whispered again and I can feel him smiling behind me, “If you choose me, you’ll just get bored with me... What you see right now is all of me. This is me. This is Kageyama Tobio. You’ve seen everything and I don’t know if I can still give anything more to you...”

“Well so far, I’ve liked what Kageyama Tobio is.” I said stubbornly.

“But Kageyama Tobio is a devil.” He answered back.

“No!” I disagreed, “Kageyama Tobio is an angel... My personal guardian angel...”

Tobio froze all of a sudden and I frowned, “Tobio..?”

He started to shake his head and tightened his arms around me, burying his face on the crook of my neck, “Wow..." He whispered so softly, "...I missed that...”

“Huh?” I frowned when I heard a small sob coming and felt my shoulders getting damp.

"Thank you..." He whispered again, "This is enough."

"What are you talking about?"

He started laughing after a while, “Don’t mind me... You’re not really backing out on this argument, are you?”

“No.”

“Tell me... Can you live without anything but me?”

“I ca---” I started but he interrupted me.

“Can you promise that you’ll never miss the human world and all of your friends there?”

“What...?”

“Shoyou... It’s part of the promise you need to make... I told you that you’ll be mine now and forever so you can’t just go back to the human world whenever you like... And you know that I’m not always in the human world... Also, it’s too dangerous for you to go back there for the mean time...”

“But---”

“Besides...” He whispered softly, “I’m gonna be gone soon so it’s better if you don’t get too attached to me.”

I was taken aback by what he just said and I quickly turn around and looked at him in confusion. My heart ached when I saw the very sad look on his face.

“What do you mean you’ll be gone?”

He smiled and search for my hand under the blanket, “You finally looked at me,” He then placed my hand on his cold cheek, “They’re gonna send me away, my star.”

“W-where...?”

“Somewhere you’ll never see me...”

I looked at him in confusion, “W-Why...?”

He smiled, “They’ve finally found evidence and learned about all my past rule-breakings too. I have to receive severe punishments because of those. I have no idea what they’ll do to me or where exactly will they send me, that’s why I’m telling you to just kill me. At least I can still help you while I’m still alive. Who knows? I might just die there.”

“Tobio...” I breathed, “I’m so sor---”

I widened my eyes when he suddenly leaned towards me. Oh God... Is he... gonna kiss me? I quickly closed my eyes and readied myself.

What I received was a forehead bump.

Way to ruin the mood, Tobio.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to say sorry to me?” He accused me, still having no idea that I expected a kiss from him.

I shook my head and mumbled, “And how many times will you be a mood breaker?”

“Huh?”

“Nothing.”

Tobio frowned, “Anyway... I need your decision soon, okay? I don’t even know when they will take me away but I promise that I’ll get you back to your relatives before I’m gone. They won’t disturb you there. I'll make sure to put a barrier of some sort.”

“Can we do something? I’m sure there’s a way to get out of this… Can’t I do something, Tobio?”

“You’ve done more than enough.”

“What are you talking about? I didn’t do anything...”

“You stayed with me... My star...” He smiled and kissed my hand, “And that’s more than enough.”

“You’re more than enough…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess there's only 2 chapters left? Sorry for prolonging it ;A; I'm still thinking if I'm gonna change the ending (happy or tragic? lololol) so let's see when can I update the next chapter haha  
> I really hope you're still enjoying it! <3


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